Communication: How much is too much?

By: Aubrie Smith, co-editor-in-chief

Each week as I sit and think of my latest Honest Monogamist topic, I always seem to come back to the same ending point: strengthen the communication. Everything seems fixable if you’re open to honest discussion, change and constructive criticism.

I saw a quote dwindling online that said: “Remember, it’s not you versus him, it’s you two versus the problem.”

Though the original author is probably lost in the depths of the interwebs, the words have resonated with me. Through problems, fights and tested limits, we as humans need to stop our defensive behavior and learn how to come together to work through a problem and find a compromising solution.

Never had it ever dawned on me that it was possible to talk too much until someone brought it up, and now everything I thought I knew has shattered.

Now, I’m not saying that I was down for dwelling on problems. I’m more of a “talk about it once, find a solution and then drop it unless the problem gets worse” kind of gal, but is talking the problem? Have our technological advances and constant need for communication created these problems in the first place?

We all know what social media has done for jealousy. I wish there were credible statistics on how many breakups occurred over the liking of a risque Instagram photo, but alas they don’t yet exist. We live in times of anxiety without our phones, we carry chargers in our back pockets and we make sure we sit next to an outlet if we’re under 50 percent for battery – all so we can talk to our significant other. When does it become too much?

Can we go back to snail mail? Do you think we would have fewer problems? it’s an interesting thought. Maybe it would take us longer to get to know each other, rather than rushing into things. But today, could we even be bothered to hand write something of length? To buy a stamp? To wait until they respond via snail mail before hooking up with someone else? I’m not so sure. I think we would fail.

The next time you’re at work and you feel the need to grab your phone, risk the wrath of your boss just to ask your S.O. how their day has been, don’t. Call them later and actually have something to talk about. Let’s use our words for purpose and not for convenience. We need to re-evaluate what communication is: connection.

Be better than instant gratification. Disconnect to reconnect.

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