The Honest Monogamist: Dealing With The Friends

By Aubrie Smith, co-editor-in-chief.

Entering a new relationship can be fun and exciting. Finding your dynamic, however, can take some time and cause some stress. There’s a balancing act between independence, hanging out with your new significant other, and keeping a close relationship with your friends.

What’s even more stressful? Trying to fit in with their friends in “natural” way.

Sure, sometimes this may come easily, but under normal circumstances there will be complications.


Complication one: They’re more annoying than your significant other

You may be infatuated with your new partner, but you have to admit that they have some annoying habits. Their friends happen to encompass all of those. Though this is certainly a complication, it’s not the worst one. Hang out with them when the opportunity presents itself, sure, but not liking them can come in handy when you want to hang out with your friends, and your partner wants to hang out with theirs. Space is a virtue!


Complication two: Your partner spends too much time with their friends

This can be annoying, especially when you’re not invited, or you’re looking for more alone time with them. As always, communication is key here. Talk to your partner and let them know you’d like to be more included. Come up with a plan that all of you are involved in, or plan a date night and ask for some alone time. Silence will be the killer here.


Complication three: your friends don’t like your partner

This can be the worst, when people you care about so much don’t like each other. Remember to respect both parties here, but also demand respect from your loved ones. If they love you, they’ll put their differences aside when they need too. Make time for both parties, and bring them together only on celebratory occasions when the mood is light. Eventually, if your relationship lasts, their dislike will naturally grow into a tolerance– which is not the worst thing!


No matter which complication you have, remember that you love everyone in your life, and sometimes that means dealing with people you don’t love who are attached to them. Find your happy place, make some compromises, and enjoy every little moment of your new year.

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